Jared looked down at his food, suddenly not all that hungry. "Hey, babe, I think I just wanna go to bed, I'm exhausted." He said, going to pull the mattress odd the bed. "You can join me later if you're watching tv."
Jensen woke early the next morning. Jared still looked exhausted, hr felt terrible waking him. Instead, he wrote a note, "dear Jay. Looked so peaceful I couldn't disturb you. I'll stop by after work to make sure you got home okay and give you plenty of kisses. Much love, Jen.'
Jared woke at about 11 am and read the note. He immediately began to cry and shook his head frantically as he hugged his knees. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, can't even wake up right. He'll probably fucking leave you when he realizes what a fucking nut you are." He spoke angrily, moving to punch himself hard in the thigh repeatedly. Once he knew he left a bruise, he let up and went about trying to do something nice for Jensen to come home to, but he dropped a glass on the floor as he went to put it in the washer and he yelled in frustration. "Idiot!" He shouted as he began to punch a different spot on his thigh. He would never hurt someone else, because they didn't deserve to be hurt, but he felt like if he associated pain and fucking up he could stop fucking up. After that, he gave up and turned the tv on which he watched mindlessly before laying back down in the bed at around 5pm then cried himself to sleep, curled up in a tight ball. He ignored his phone ringing throughout the day, the stress of answering it too much for him to conquer.
Jensen sent him texts throughout the day but never got an answer. He didn't worry, maybe his minutes were up or he was busy with his mom. He drove home that evening to shower before going to see Jared, shocked when he found him still in bed. He rushed to him, fearing the worst, and shook him hard. "Jared!"
Jared startled awake at the shaking and the sound of his name. "Oh no." He whispered, eyes filling with tears when he looked up at Jensen. He was never supposed to know about this, never supposed to see him like this. Why didn't he just fucking go home instead of fall back asleep?! He stood, his bruises dark against his skin, and all but ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He slid down it and curled on the floor, sobbing to himself and muttering about how stupid he was and that Jensen would leave him.
"Don't!" Jared shouted. "Don't try to help me! I'm fucking worthless, can't do anything right! Just go and I'll be out of here, you won't have to see me ever again." He sobbed into his knees, shaking. "Such a fucking idiot, didn't deserve something as good as him." He mumbled to himself.
Jensen began to shake, scared shitless. He backed up, not knowing what to do. He rushed to the living room, digging through Jared's jeans until he found his phone, getting to his mom's contact and dialling, close to tears. He stepped into the hallway, not wanting Jared to hear him breaking down.
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